We had tears tonight. I haven't blogged in so long, but I wanted to share this with someone, so it's out there now. A friend of mine in the spanking community surmised at one point that tears come when you feel out of control. That certainly applied tonight.
We were using a leather implement we don't usually use and it did the dreaded wrap around my hip. When I torqued my body in response to this, Roger scolded me for getting out of position. At that point, I felt helpless. And there were tears. It was delightfully real.
For those who are wondering: Yes, I was being punished. Yes, I deserved it. And, no. You won't get any more details. ;)
Z.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
A reply to Anonymous
Anonymous commented on my last post: “i'm a 17 year old girl in Michigan. I've been seeing the same man for the past year and he is very nice and respectable. However, I can't get the thought of being a submissive out of my head...reading all of your blogs, well, it turned me on a lot and all I can think about is meeting someone like your husband. How do you meet someone like that by the way. However, I am in love with my boyfriend soo much. But, I know he would never be okay with spanking or punishments..can I have some advice here please?!”
Sweetie, my first thought on reading your comment was that 17 is far too young to be worried about finding a mate. Part of the reason we spend our twenties dating is because we don’t yet know who we are or what we want from a life partner. My advice to you is to play the field, meet as many men as you can and focus more on enjoying yourself rather than finding someone with whom you can settle down. The right man will come along, but first you have to figure out what it is you want in a man so that you will be able to recognize him when you two meet.
When I was a year older than you are now, I met my first spanker. We worked together and I found him funny, kind and very sweet. At that point in my life, those were the only qualities I required in a man. As an added bonus, he enjoyed spanking, which I had been too embarrassed to admit I wanted. But we had a fun time together and it was an experience I don’t regret. He turned out to be wrong for me in many other ways, but I stayed with him for nine months (a lifetime, for me, in those days), far longer than I should have. I knew we weren’t right for long-term, but I kept going back to him, mainly because I wanted to be spanked and thought that I would never meet anyone else who was willing to do it. As I said in my previous post, this kink was very embarrassing for me and I didn’t want to have to admit my submissive tendencies to a vanilla man. But eventually, my relationship with this man ended and I moved on.
Not long after that, I met someone who I still consider to be one of the great loves of my life. Second only to Roger, I was attracted to this man from the moment I met him. As we got to know each other, he told me he had spanked one of our friends when she had been rude to him. As you can imagine, I fell head over heels at this point. But because he and I had met in a very vanilla way, I was still too embarrassed to let him know I wanted to be dominated and spanked. Instead, I acted up around him constantly, bratting at every opportunity and goading him into spanking me. It worked, but the spankings weren’t what I wanted. I have a very high pain tolerance and this guy spanked with his hand and it just didn’t deliver the sting that I craved. Despite this, our relationship was right in so many other ways, and we were together for three years, from 19 to 22. We broke up after college, when I moved away to pursue a job offer. We tried the long-distance thing, but it just didn’t work.
After this, I discovered the Internet and life changed. From 22 to 24, I met a series of doms, spankers and even sadists online who helped me realize just what I needed from a d/s relationship. I wasn’t into bondage, which I kind of already knew, I didn’t want to be spanked just for fun or in the bedroom, it had to be for discipline, and I wanted someone who left me free to make decisions for myself in other aspects of my life. 24/7 dominance was not what I wanted, even though the idea seemed appealing at first. One rule I made for myself during this time period was that I would not have sex with ANY of these men until I had chosen someone who would work for me long-term. It meant many a night at home alone with my handy vibrator, but it also kept me from getting emotionally tangled up with someone who was not going to last. I learned that lesson from my first spanker, who I had considered marrying, even though he was wrong for me in so many ways, simply because he was a spanker who turned me on sexually. I think choosing a life partner involves more than just love and sex. There are many factors to consider and it wasn’t until I was almost 25 that I had decided what I absolutely *needed* in a mate. Among those qualities were a college education, a sense of humor, a dominant personality and a love of books and ideas. I also wanted him to be taller than 6 feet, but was willing to compromise on that one. When I met Roger shortly before my 25th birthday, her fit all of these requirements perfectly and I was able to recognize in a matter of days that this was someone I wanted to marry. But we dated for five years before we finally made that commitment, just to be sure. It wasn’t all smooth sailing, since even the best relationships require compromising and butting heads, but it was a wonderful journey that we now look back on with laughter and tears.
There are many, many ways to find someone to love. You can search online - which carries many risks so PLEASE be careful! – or at church, community activities, school, work, even the mall. I wouldn’t recommend bars or nightclubs, mainly because a lot of disreputable people tend to frequent those places, but if dancing is an important part of a relationship to you, then you might want to try meeting men there. But one thing I would like you to weigh in your mind: Any man who loves you and wants to give you what you need will be willing to try his hand at spanking. If you two are right for each other, he will be willing to hear you out when you broach the spanking topic. As PK said in her comment, many, many women married vanilla men and were able to convince them to not only try spanking, but love doing it. I wouldn’t make it a requirement that a man be kinky, since I’m pretty sure that most of them are able to tap into their inner dominant and give you what you need. All they need for this is a bit of guidance.
But in order to guide your man into spanking you, you first need to learn what exactly you want. Spanking comes in so many varieties: erotic, disciplinary, playful, etc., and there are many types of spankos out there. Are you the kind of girl who needs to be spanked hard and taught a lesson? Or would you prefer a soft, sensual, erotic type of spanking? Do you want to be controlled by your spanker in every aspect of your life or would you prefer that he just spank you and let you decide things for yourself?
Those questions are really hard to answer at 17. I know, because I actually thought I wanted a 24/7 bdsm relationship in which I ceded total control to my dominant at one time. It wasn’t until a man ordered me to do something I really didn’t want to do that I realized that total d/s wasn’t for me. Roger and I have a rather egalitarian relationship in which I retain a good deal of autonomy. If I had married a dom who wanted to control me all the time, it wouldn’t have been much more than a month before we divorced. That’s why I think the most important way to find a man is to first find yourself. Imagine different scenarios in which you are married to different types of men and try and figure out what appeals to you. In your darkest fantasies, what sort of a man do you envision? Focus less on what he’s doing to you in these fantasies and try to see who he is. That’s the man you want to marry. And I’m not just talking sexual fantasies. In my early years, I used to envision a man who stayed up all night with me debating politics and quoting obscure literary texts that we both had enjoyed. I wanted someone who was knowledgeable about poetry and literature, but who was well-grounded in facts, so that he didn’t let me get carried away with my idealism. And guess what? Roger fit that description to a tee. Some nights we forgo sleep just to talk. The spanking part of our relationship is a very small part, to tell you the truth. It’s icing on the cake. You deserve a man who fulfills ALL of your fantasies, not just the sexual ones.
One thing I would advise looking for in a man: Confidence. A man who is secure in who he is and what he wants will be the sort of steady, reliable mate that you can depend on. He will be secure in his manhood and better able to dominate you in the ways that you need. This kind of man is rare, but a true gem. And another piece of advice: If he seems unduly jealous of family or friends, or if he tries to take control of you in ways that you don’t want, then run the other way. Fast. There is a thin line between a good dominant and an abusive control-freak. Evaluate your dates with as objective a perspective as you can muster, since the thrill of the early stages of love will soon fade and you will be left with a man who is flawed in many ways. All men have flaws, but it’s important to pick someone whose flaws you can live with. When you’re blinded by love, that can be hard to see, but you should definitely try to make an effort. That’s one of the main reasons I recommend putting off sex until you are sure that this guy is good for a long-term relationship. Sex can muddle your vision and make even the worst boyfriend look like husband material.
I’m glad you found my blog. Hopefully, by reading this and other writers’ musings, you will be able to decide what it is you are seeking and work out a way to get what you need. You have many years ahead of you before you should even think of getting married, and those years will be some of the best memories you will ever have. Your twenties should be a decade of exploring all kinds of people, learning more about your needs, wants and fantasies, as well as a time to grow into the best woman that you can be. A part of me envies you, since you have such an exciting time ahead of you. But another part of me is worried for you, since there will be plenty of hurt feelings, fights and broken hearts along the way as well. Just remember that all of that is temporary, and a necessary part of growing up and finding the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. And when you meet him, you will both have some fun laughs at the bumps in the road you both took in your attempts to find each other. Sigh. You are lucky to have such happy times ahead.
Best wishes,
Z.
Sweetie, my first thought on reading your comment was that 17 is far too young to be worried about finding a mate. Part of the reason we spend our twenties dating is because we don’t yet know who we are or what we want from a life partner. My advice to you is to play the field, meet as many men as you can and focus more on enjoying yourself rather than finding someone with whom you can settle down. The right man will come along, but first you have to figure out what it is you want in a man so that you will be able to recognize him when you two meet.
When I was a year older than you are now, I met my first spanker. We worked together and I found him funny, kind and very sweet. At that point in my life, those were the only qualities I required in a man. As an added bonus, he enjoyed spanking, which I had been too embarrassed to admit I wanted. But we had a fun time together and it was an experience I don’t regret. He turned out to be wrong for me in many other ways, but I stayed with him for nine months (a lifetime, for me, in those days), far longer than I should have. I knew we weren’t right for long-term, but I kept going back to him, mainly because I wanted to be spanked and thought that I would never meet anyone else who was willing to do it. As I said in my previous post, this kink was very embarrassing for me and I didn’t want to have to admit my submissive tendencies to a vanilla man. But eventually, my relationship with this man ended and I moved on.
Not long after that, I met someone who I still consider to be one of the great loves of my life. Second only to Roger, I was attracted to this man from the moment I met him. As we got to know each other, he told me he had spanked one of our friends when she had been rude to him. As you can imagine, I fell head over heels at this point. But because he and I had met in a very vanilla way, I was still too embarrassed to let him know I wanted to be dominated and spanked. Instead, I acted up around him constantly, bratting at every opportunity and goading him into spanking me. It worked, but the spankings weren’t what I wanted. I have a very high pain tolerance and this guy spanked with his hand and it just didn’t deliver the sting that I craved. Despite this, our relationship was right in so many other ways, and we were together for three years, from 19 to 22. We broke up after college, when I moved away to pursue a job offer. We tried the long-distance thing, but it just didn’t work.
After this, I discovered the Internet and life changed. From 22 to 24, I met a series of doms, spankers and even sadists online who helped me realize just what I needed from a d/s relationship. I wasn’t into bondage, which I kind of already knew, I didn’t want to be spanked just for fun or in the bedroom, it had to be for discipline, and I wanted someone who left me free to make decisions for myself in other aspects of my life. 24/7 dominance was not what I wanted, even though the idea seemed appealing at first. One rule I made for myself during this time period was that I would not have sex with ANY of these men until I had chosen someone who would work for me long-term. It meant many a night at home alone with my handy vibrator, but it also kept me from getting emotionally tangled up with someone who was not going to last. I learned that lesson from my first spanker, who I had considered marrying, even though he was wrong for me in so many ways, simply because he was a spanker who turned me on sexually. I think choosing a life partner involves more than just love and sex. There are many factors to consider and it wasn’t until I was almost 25 that I had decided what I absolutely *needed* in a mate. Among those qualities were a college education, a sense of humor, a dominant personality and a love of books and ideas. I also wanted him to be taller than 6 feet, but was willing to compromise on that one. When I met Roger shortly before my 25th birthday, her fit all of these requirements perfectly and I was able to recognize in a matter of days that this was someone I wanted to marry. But we dated for five years before we finally made that commitment, just to be sure. It wasn’t all smooth sailing, since even the best relationships require compromising and butting heads, but it was a wonderful journey that we now look back on with laughter and tears.
There are many, many ways to find someone to love. You can search online - which carries many risks so PLEASE be careful! – or at church, community activities, school, work, even the mall. I wouldn’t recommend bars or nightclubs, mainly because a lot of disreputable people tend to frequent those places, but if dancing is an important part of a relationship to you, then you might want to try meeting men there. But one thing I would like you to weigh in your mind: Any man who loves you and wants to give you what you need will be willing to try his hand at spanking. If you two are right for each other, he will be willing to hear you out when you broach the spanking topic. As PK said in her comment, many, many women married vanilla men and were able to convince them to not only try spanking, but love doing it. I wouldn’t make it a requirement that a man be kinky, since I’m pretty sure that most of them are able to tap into their inner dominant and give you what you need. All they need for this is a bit of guidance.
But in order to guide your man into spanking you, you first need to learn what exactly you want. Spanking comes in so many varieties: erotic, disciplinary, playful, etc., and there are many types of spankos out there. Are you the kind of girl who needs to be spanked hard and taught a lesson? Or would you prefer a soft, sensual, erotic type of spanking? Do you want to be controlled by your spanker in every aspect of your life or would you prefer that he just spank you and let you decide things for yourself?
Those questions are really hard to answer at 17. I know, because I actually thought I wanted a 24/7 bdsm relationship in which I ceded total control to my dominant at one time. It wasn’t until a man ordered me to do something I really didn’t want to do that I realized that total d/s wasn’t for me. Roger and I have a rather egalitarian relationship in which I retain a good deal of autonomy. If I had married a dom who wanted to control me all the time, it wouldn’t have been much more than a month before we divorced. That’s why I think the most important way to find a man is to first find yourself. Imagine different scenarios in which you are married to different types of men and try and figure out what appeals to you. In your darkest fantasies, what sort of a man do you envision? Focus less on what he’s doing to you in these fantasies and try to see who he is. That’s the man you want to marry. And I’m not just talking sexual fantasies. In my early years, I used to envision a man who stayed up all night with me debating politics and quoting obscure literary texts that we both had enjoyed. I wanted someone who was knowledgeable about poetry and literature, but who was well-grounded in facts, so that he didn’t let me get carried away with my idealism. And guess what? Roger fit that description to a tee. Some nights we forgo sleep just to talk. The spanking part of our relationship is a very small part, to tell you the truth. It’s icing on the cake. You deserve a man who fulfills ALL of your fantasies, not just the sexual ones.
One thing I would advise looking for in a man: Confidence. A man who is secure in who he is and what he wants will be the sort of steady, reliable mate that you can depend on. He will be secure in his manhood and better able to dominate you in the ways that you need. This kind of man is rare, but a true gem. And another piece of advice: If he seems unduly jealous of family or friends, or if he tries to take control of you in ways that you don’t want, then run the other way. Fast. There is a thin line between a good dominant and an abusive control-freak. Evaluate your dates with as objective a perspective as you can muster, since the thrill of the early stages of love will soon fade and you will be left with a man who is flawed in many ways. All men have flaws, but it’s important to pick someone whose flaws you can live with. When you’re blinded by love, that can be hard to see, but you should definitely try to make an effort. That’s one of the main reasons I recommend putting off sex until you are sure that this guy is good for a long-term relationship. Sex can muddle your vision and make even the worst boyfriend look like husband material.
I’m glad you found my blog. Hopefully, by reading this and other writers’ musings, you will be able to decide what it is you are seeking and work out a way to get what you need. You have many years ahead of you before you should even think of getting married, and those years will be some of the best memories you will ever have. Your twenties should be a decade of exploring all kinds of people, learning more about your needs, wants and fantasies, as well as a time to grow into the best woman that you can be. A part of me envies you, since you have such an exciting time ahead of you. But another part of me is worried for you, since there will be plenty of hurt feelings, fights and broken hearts along the way as well. Just remember that all of that is temporary, and a necessary part of growing up and finding the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. And when you meet him, you will both have some fun laughs at the bumps in the road you both took in your attempts to find each other. Sigh. You are lucky to have such happy times ahead.
Best wishes,
Z.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Embarrassed
Sorry. I dropped this blog and haven’t thought about it in a while. Please don’t expect regular updates, but I do need to write out my thoughts on this and this is the place for it. Thank you for reading.
Why is it that I am so uncomfortable about TTWD? I have trouble even saying the word “spanking,” and I think that it’s actually connected to my kink in some way, since I’ve always been embarrassed by the thought of anyone getting a spanking, saying the word spanking, seeing a spanking or reading and writing about spankings. It gives me shivers of embarrassment that frighten me, make me nervous and also make me wet and excited. Sorry to be so blunt here, but it bears mentioning when covering this topic.
Yes, I can see that a lot of the embarrassment comes from being separate from the norm, but that’s not all of it. I’m also embarrassed about this being a sexual, private thing. A part of me is embarrassed because if I’m really a feminist, it’s hard to resolve wanting to submit to some man who tells me what to do and punishes me if I fail to obey. I’m embarrassed for needing this, instead of just wanting it. I’m embarrassed because if others knew about my lifestyle, they might think I’m deviant. I’m embarrassed because I like being treated like a child. I’m embarrassed by all sorts of tiny things he does to humiliate me while I’m being spanked and it turns me on even more. I’m embarrassed because I enjoy my embarrassment sometimes. And I don’t know what I would do if the embarrassment suddenly went away.
What if I lived in a world where it wasn’t a big deal to be into otk? If it wasn’t the sort of thing that would draw snickers from others when you talked about it, or if this were the sort of thing I could be open about with my parents, in-laws, children and grandchildren? What if we lived in a world where this sort of lifestyle, while not the norm, was something that was without social stigma and perfectly acceptable? Would the embarrassment go away? Or would it be even more embarrassing to get spanked and have everybody know that I was getting spanked? I have no idea.
I don’t even know if I would want to live in that kind of world. I’m one of those people who believe that our private lives should remain, for the most part, private. I keep a blog and post about what happens in my private life mainly because this lifestyle often raises issues that require meditation. Sometimes, when I’m writing here, I forget that others are reading my words. When I remember, can you guess how I feel about it? Yep. I get embarrassed.
Part of me wishes I lived in a world where I could confide in my mother that Roger was unfair spanking me last night, or tell a girlfriend that I need some otk tonight or I’m going to lose my mind. As things are, though, I would hate it if my parents or friends knew the details of my marriage. Not just because it’s deeply intimate and none of their business, but also because a part of me is ashamed of this kink. There. I’ve written it. I’m embarrassed even though there is no rational reason to be ashamed of what we do. No one is victimized; it only involves consenting adults and we both enjoy it. So why does this feel so wrong sometimes? I can’t resolve it.
When I was a child, I felt ashamed just by hearing the word or reading it in a book. When I became an adult, I was embarrassed when I sought spankers out and watched spanking videos. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS, but it feels as if there were. I don’t have any idea why. Maybe that’s what makes our sex lives better than those of vanilla couples. Because it feels like we’re being naughty and indulging in forbidden fruit. We definitely deserve to be spanked for that ;)
Why is it that I am so uncomfortable about TTWD? I have trouble even saying the word “spanking,” and I think that it’s actually connected to my kink in some way, since I’ve always been embarrassed by the thought of anyone getting a spanking, saying the word spanking, seeing a spanking or reading and writing about spankings. It gives me shivers of embarrassment that frighten me, make me nervous and also make me wet and excited. Sorry to be so blunt here, but it bears mentioning when covering this topic.
Yes, I can see that a lot of the embarrassment comes from being separate from the norm, but that’s not all of it. I’m also embarrassed about this being a sexual, private thing. A part of me is embarrassed because if I’m really a feminist, it’s hard to resolve wanting to submit to some man who tells me what to do and punishes me if I fail to obey. I’m embarrassed for needing this, instead of just wanting it. I’m embarrassed because if others knew about my lifestyle, they might think I’m deviant. I’m embarrassed because I like being treated like a child. I’m embarrassed by all sorts of tiny things he does to humiliate me while I’m being spanked and it turns me on even more. I’m embarrassed because I enjoy my embarrassment sometimes. And I don’t know what I would do if the embarrassment suddenly went away.
What if I lived in a world where it wasn’t a big deal to be into otk? If it wasn’t the sort of thing that would draw snickers from others when you talked about it, or if this were the sort of thing I could be open about with my parents, in-laws, children and grandchildren? What if we lived in a world where this sort of lifestyle, while not the norm, was something that was without social stigma and perfectly acceptable? Would the embarrassment go away? Or would it be even more embarrassing to get spanked and have everybody know that I was getting spanked? I have no idea.
I don’t even know if I would want to live in that kind of world. I’m one of those people who believe that our private lives should remain, for the most part, private. I keep a blog and post about what happens in my private life mainly because this lifestyle often raises issues that require meditation. Sometimes, when I’m writing here, I forget that others are reading my words. When I remember, can you guess how I feel about it? Yep. I get embarrassed.
Part of me wishes I lived in a world where I could confide in my mother that Roger was unfair spanking me last night, or tell a girlfriend that I need some otk tonight or I’m going to lose my mind. As things are, though, I would hate it if my parents or friends knew the details of my marriage. Not just because it’s deeply intimate and none of their business, but also because a part of me is ashamed of this kink. There. I’ve written it. I’m embarrassed even though there is no rational reason to be ashamed of what we do. No one is victimized; it only involves consenting adults and we both enjoy it. So why does this feel so wrong sometimes? I can’t resolve it.
When I was a child, I felt ashamed just by hearing the word or reading it in a book. When I became an adult, I was embarrassed when I sought spankers out and watched spanking videos. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS, but it feels as if there were. I don’t have any idea why. Maybe that’s what makes our sex lives better than those of vanilla couples. Because it feels like we’re being naughty and indulging in forbidden fruit. We definitely deserve to be spanked for that ;)
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Love our Lurkers day
Today is Love our Lurkers day, and although I don't deserve any lurkers (sorry to be so slow in posting news. I'm surprised any of you are still reading this blog), I do, indeed, love my lurkers, so this post is especially for you. Come on out of hiding and let us know who you are!
Zelly
Zelly
Sunday, August 16, 2009
One more thing
And I'm not doing this to whine. It's just that, if I talk to him about this, I run the risk of making him think I need it again, since whenever I tell him a spanking was unfair, that's what happens. So this blog is my only place to vent, which is not the same was whining. It isn't. I promise you, it isn't. Damn it. Maybe it's the same, but it doesn't feel the same. Oh, well.
A less crazy schedule
Maybe I can post once a month. At least, that's what I hope. I don't want to let the blog go. Is that silly? Anyway, things are still super-busy for me these days. I won't bore you with those details, but I am working more hours than I ever did in my life. At least most of my work is writing, so I can't complain. Ya know?
I got switched tonight. And unfairly, I think. Roger often likes to tease me, and he was in rare form tonight, goosing me mercilessly. For those of you who don't know what goosing is (I didn't until Roger), it's when he does this weird tickling/squeezing thing with his fingers on sensitive parts of my body that feels AWFUL. It makes me squeal, but not in a good way. I hate it.
But Roger likes to do it, and I thought I would show him what it feels like. As we were arriving home, and he was fumbling with his keys, I goosed him. We live in the most deserted wooded property now, so everything was pitch black out there. BY MISTAKE, I missed his ticklish sides and got him in the face. So he got furious and got a switch.
Is this fair? It was my first goosing, after all, and mistakes should be expected. And the switch? We all know how much I despise it. I didn't hurt him on purpose, you know? Not fair. And he started the whole goosing thing, so he should be switched, too, but we don't do that and anyway he doesn't agree with me. He's in the living room watching a movie and I'm in here upset. And no, talking to him won't help. I also broke the switch when he was turning me over, so I got it pretty badly. At least 100 times. NOT FAIR. The welts. They hurt.
I got switched tonight. And unfairly, I think. Roger often likes to tease me, and he was in rare form tonight, goosing me mercilessly. For those of you who don't know what goosing is (I didn't until Roger), it's when he does this weird tickling/squeezing thing with his fingers on sensitive parts of my body that feels AWFUL. It makes me squeal, but not in a good way. I hate it.
But Roger likes to do it, and I thought I would show him what it feels like. As we were arriving home, and he was fumbling with his keys, I goosed him. We live in the most deserted wooded property now, so everything was pitch black out there. BY MISTAKE, I missed his ticklish sides and got him in the face. So he got furious and got a switch.
Is this fair? It was my first goosing, after all, and mistakes should be expected. And the switch? We all know how much I despise it. I didn't hurt him on purpose, you know? Not fair. And he started the whole goosing thing, so he should be switched, too, but we don't do that and anyway he doesn't agree with me. He's in the living room watching a movie and I'm in here upset. And no, talking to him won't help. I also broke the switch when he was turning me over, so I got it pretty badly. At least 100 times. NOT FAIR. The welts. They hurt.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
My apologies
I am so sorry to have not kept you updated. The last time I updated, my life was so drastically different and I owe you all a bit of an explanation. Roger and I have relocated from the South and are now in the Mid-West. The weather up here is so pretty, I find it hard to believe it will be so nasty this winter.
But the move was rather sudden, so I have had a hard time keeping up with this blog. For that, I apologize. I have also gone back to school and am working towards my doctorate in Romantic poetry. It is keeping me busy, and I am exhausted many a night, but I am content.
Yes, Roger still punishes me when I need it. I got a scorcher of a spanking last night for something I’m too ashamed to admit, even on here. It was something I know better than to do, something for which he’s punished me several times and something that could have had fatal repercussions, but luckily didn’t. I have nothing to say about that except Mea Culpa. I disappointed him, which is the really bad part.
I am sorry that I have neglected all of you. Some of you knew that I was taking a hiatus, but I really owed it to all of you to post something. I have no excuses and deserve a thorough blistering for being so remiss. But the truth is that I had no idea how to face you and tell you that I just don’t have the energy to keep this up anymore.
I never expected to gain a following with this blog, and started it with just the idea that it might be fun to write about all our silly romps and my overly analytical views on domestic discipline. I am pleasantly surprised by all of the readers who kept returning to hear about all my little exploits. Thank you. I feel like we have a common sisterhood (since I believe most of you are women), and it has been a pleasure to share this small part of my journey with all of you. Good luck in finding someone special to take you in hand if you are looking and good luck in keeping the one you love if you have already found him. Relationships can be tricky, I’ve learned, so I wish you patience and strength as well.
You may ask why I’m keeping the blog up if I no longer plan to update it. Well, I am not the type of person who says “never.” I may be back, but it looks like goodbye, for now. It’s very important that I progress with my education, so I am making a choice that I feel is right for me. But I'm also aware of how much I enjoyed writing this blog, so I am making sure that this decision is not irreversible. Despite that, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
Again, thank you for sharing these months with me. I enjoyed confessing all my little secrets here, and it tickled me pink that total strangers knew what Roger’s and my closest friends and family don’t know. It’s wild, isn’t it? So in a way, all of you are like dear, intimate confidantes. I wish you all the best.
Zelda
But the move was rather sudden, so I have had a hard time keeping up with this blog. For that, I apologize. I have also gone back to school and am working towards my doctorate in Romantic poetry. It is keeping me busy, and I am exhausted many a night, but I am content.
Yes, Roger still punishes me when I need it. I got a scorcher of a spanking last night for something I’m too ashamed to admit, even on here. It was something I know better than to do, something for which he’s punished me several times and something that could have had fatal repercussions, but luckily didn’t. I have nothing to say about that except Mea Culpa. I disappointed him, which is the really bad part.
I am sorry that I have neglected all of you. Some of you knew that I was taking a hiatus, but I really owed it to all of you to post something. I have no excuses and deserve a thorough blistering for being so remiss. But the truth is that I had no idea how to face you and tell you that I just don’t have the energy to keep this up anymore.
I never expected to gain a following with this blog, and started it with just the idea that it might be fun to write about all our silly romps and my overly analytical views on domestic discipline. I am pleasantly surprised by all of the readers who kept returning to hear about all my little exploits. Thank you. I feel like we have a common sisterhood (since I believe most of you are women), and it has been a pleasure to share this small part of my journey with all of you. Good luck in finding someone special to take you in hand if you are looking and good luck in keeping the one you love if you have already found him. Relationships can be tricky, I’ve learned, so I wish you patience and strength as well.
You may ask why I’m keeping the blog up if I no longer plan to update it. Well, I am not the type of person who says “never.” I may be back, but it looks like goodbye, for now. It’s very important that I progress with my education, so I am making a choice that I feel is right for me. But I'm also aware of how much I enjoyed writing this blog, so I am making sure that this decision is not irreversible. Despite that, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
Again, thank you for sharing these months with me. I enjoyed confessing all my little secrets here, and it tickled me pink that total strangers knew what Roger’s and my closest friends and family don’t know. It’s wild, isn’t it? So in a way, all of you are like dear, intimate confidantes. I wish you all the best.
Zelda
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