I am very sorry for not updating in so long. All I can say is that I have been in the midst of an arduous battle with depression lately over my back and the problems that are still not resolved after a painful and extremely expensive surgery. I'm also spending a month away from Roger, visiting my family abroad, which means I have very little to report.
But I truly appreciate the e-mails and the concern. I know I took on a responsibility when I started this blog, and I feel like I owe you all updates even when I can't drag myself out of bed. The guilt over everything I'm neglecting these days leads to inertia, which leads to more guilt, etc., etc. Sometimes it feels like an uphill battle just to breathe.
As you can imagine, I've taken an extended leave of absence from work. Between my physical state and my emotional state, I am simply tired. It looks like I will need another surgery, but we're not sure when that will be scheduled, since the surgeon is not certain that I've fully recovered from the first surgery and is hesitant to proceed until he knows what my permanent condition will be. I feel like I am too young to be dealing with this stuff.
Anyway, to all of you waiting for updates, I am truly sorry. The best explanation I can offer is that I am not myself right now and until things improve, I feel like I have nothing to offer my readers. Being away from my husband also makes me feel rudderless, and without him, I am uninspired.
My best wishes to all,
Zelda
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5 comments:
Dear Zelda,
I think about you often. Be well, my friend.
Maryann
Zelda, honey, I am so glad you posted another update. I am sorry the first surgery didn't work as well as you hoped; but, sweetie, head up, things will work out, I KNOW it. You battle this depression; play music, sing along even when you feel like crying; if you SOUND happy, sometimes you even fool yourself into thinking you ARE! C'mon, kid, hang on in there! We need you! But, don't go feeling guilty at not posting. Its counter-productive, and we understand! Tho, even if you don't want to say anything, it would be good if you would just post a brief sentence, for example... "Hi, life is hectic/crap/dull/painfilled/whatever at the moment but I'll be back!" type message, now and again, to stop us worrying you have given up your blog!!
I still pray for you, and will continue to do so, you are my "adopted sister"...apparently we can claim relatives in the spanko world even tho there is no blood connection!!! Hahahaha!
God bless, and enjoy being with your family; you will be back with Roger soon enough and I am sure he will make up for lost time with you! Hugs, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hurry home, honey, missing your posts! xxxxxxxxxxx
Happy Thanksgiving (Spanksgiving?) to you and Roger, and everyone reading this! hugs, xxx
Hi Zelda:
I just found your blog with a link from PK's blog!
Having suffered from chronic neck and back problems,(but never had any surgery)I really can empathize with you. I hope that your body heals way beyond what you ever thought possible. I am going to search thru your blog and read your previous posts so that I can catch up.I look forward to the time when you are home and feeling well enough to post. My prayers are with you.
Take Care,
Andrades Girl
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